A letter to my teenage self
Dear Miss Ashley,
First off, I would like to say “Hey nerd!” Yes! After all these years, you are still socially awkward and a huge fan girl. But you’ve also learned to embrace that part of yourself. Now I’m not saying you’re no longer insecure, because sadly you will still continue to second guess your self-worth. But that’s okay. Just know that despite everything that happens to you (break-ups, being ridiculed and betrayed by your peers, even becoming homeless), you will soon realize that you’re a lot stronger than you truly give yourself credit for.
Hell! By the time you’re my age, you’re going to look back on all the dumb shit you’ve done (and trust me, you’re going to make A LOT of mistakes. I mean some really….really…really stupid choices and you’re going to date and/or sleep with some guys who were just…speed bmps in your journey!) And all of your mistakes will eventually lead to the path you’re on now. Eventually you’re going to met someone who’s willing to stick by you, even after you royally fuck up in some way, and even after he’s seen you at your absolute worse. And while you’ll drive each other crazy, and at times you may take each other for granted, just know he will still love you.
In fact, you two will eventually start a family, and at first you’re going to be terrified. But eventually you ease into motherhood and you will wake up every day feeling grateful that you have a beautiful daughter. Yup! You’re going to have a minion of your own, and you’re going to see so much of yourself in her, which will be scary at times, but also gratifying because she will remind you of the simpler times of what life used to be before you became jaded.
So, I’m going to end this by saying Ashley Nicole you’re definitely an imperfect woman, but you are worthy of love and just know that you’re a badass weirdo, but your awkwardness will be part of your charm. And know that it’s okay you’re like most girls!
P.S. Even at age 35, you will still listen to the Backstreet Boys and ‘Nsync, but that’s okay because their music is motherfuckin’ timeless.